28th March, extradited

Well, here we are at my last Ballum recap (finally!) I wish it were a more positive one, but to put it plainly, I’m devastated that the show chose to end it this way, and that they chose to treat Ben the way they did. The final scene didn’t undo the terrible things that were said, and we were left with a complete misrepresentation of Ben as a character by the person who’s supposed to know him better than anyone. Sad times, guys.

We pick up where we left off the episode before, with Callum having been told that he didn’t get the chance to see Ben at all before he was taken down to the cells because he’s been denied bail. Just imagining Ben’s reaction to being told he doesn’t get to go home with no one in the room to give him any sort of comfort and making myself sad, don’t mind me.
Callum and Jay ask what’s next, and they’re told by Ritchie that there’ll be a hearing next week and then he’ll be extradited; in other words, sent back to America to do whatever time he’s been sentenced to. Because UK prison wasn’t enough.
Ritchie’s advice to Ben is to plead not guilty, for whatever reason – she said the evidence was stacked against him so I can only assume that pleading not guilty means he stays in the UK longer for a trial.
What Callum actually wants to know is when they can see him again; and the answer is they can’t, at least not until the court hearing and then they’ll move him to prison after that. Ritchie reminds Callum that he knows the rules, and to that Callum says sometimes rules are for bending. Let’s not be coy, Callum – you’ve fully broken a few rules in your time, and never gave it a second thought.

Before we get onto the Ballum scenes, special shout out to the scenes at the flat, where Ben gets it in the neck even further by his family for even thinking of taking Lexi on the run, as well as Phil for facilitating it. It’s not that I don’t get why they wouldn’t be angry at the thought of it, of Ben and Lexi taking off and not seeing Lexi again, or that I think it’s a good plan – but there’s no understanding to balance it out from any of them. And this is the issue with the whole week; the story could still exist with even a shred of empathy given to Ben and it would still have the same outcome, but the way it’s written feels deliberately cold and dismissive of him.
Phil’s the only one who’s managed some warmth – he tries to explain how Ben not seeing Lexi would break him. And it would. But then Jay throws out the ‘my daughter’ line and how she’s been the only thing to get him through this last year. And we’re back in this whole murky ‘does he actually love Lexi or is she just a piece of Lola he can cling onto?’ It’s just… incredibly sad that none of them seem to take Ben into consideration, not even Kathy. And no point made about the effect that losing Ben would have on Lexi either. Instead it’s implied that it won’t be that big a deal because she’s got Jay and Callum, with Phil placating Jay by putting all three of them as equal and telling Jay he’s a great dad. So to recap, Jay’s allowed to tell Callum that he’s not Lexi’s dad with no pushback from anyone but Callum himself, but god forbid someone even imply the same about Jay because he’ll have the entire family backing him up.
Later on we see Lexi expressing regret that the last thing she said to him was so angry and that she wishes she could see him again, and Jay assuring her that she can write to Ben, send him pictures, and she’ll see him again soon; but in the meantime she’s got Callum and Jay, and the three of them will be alright. I mean… the last thing she said to him didn’t have to be so angry, so they don’t get brownie points for that one. It does seem there’s a concentrated effort to put Jay and Callum on even footing (even though we know that Jay’s been given parental rights and Callum hasn’t, but clearly EE aren’t about details like that anymore), but now it’s at the expense of Ben.

So here we are, down at the cells where we’ll see Ben for the last time. Callum’s made it down, and he knocks to get Ben’s attention. Ben’s looking at the ceiling and answers that he doesn’t want food, not looking. And of course not a single person’s given thought to Ben’s recovery with regards to his ED either.
At the sound of Callum’s voice, Ben’s sitting up straight away in surprise, and slowly makes his way over to the door as if he’s not really sure how to approach. He wonders how he got here and Callum explains that one of the guards is an ex-copper that he knows. So he didn’t actually use his job to get down here, he just happened to know one of the guards to happened to allow him down to the cells.
Callum makes a joke about Ben getting his own room, and Ben informs him he’s waiting on a van, half jokingly asking if Callum’s got any keys, to which Callum drily adds he’d need a rope ladder too. The exchange just gets less and less funny until they just look at each other with such pain. Then Ben declares he’s going to fight this every step of the way and how none of it’s fair after everything. He wants to explain to Lexi but she won’t talk to him. He’s absolutely correct though – it’s not fair. But this triggers Callum to start telling Ben how he doesn’t get it, and that he’s making it all about him again, and as long as Ben gets what he needs. You think any of this is what Ben needs right now?!
Callum goes on to cast doubt over Ben doing what he did to help Lola and it’s awful to hear the things he’s saying. That Ben did it for himself, to be the hero, to insert himself into the story when it wasn’t about him. It almost feels like an uncomfortable commentary on Ben as a character in the show. It’s also just completely wrong, and I hate how it doesn’t get corrected. Callum never takes it back. He’s allowed to be angry at this whole situation, but to blame Ben for something he did whilst in the grips of his mental illness feels unbearably cruel. We know why Ben went to America; because he was fighting with his feelings of being out of control and trying to fix something that ultimately couldn’t be fixed. It wasn’t about ‘being the hero’, it was about the impulse to control because he’d spent a year and a half feeling like he couldn’t control anything. That’s what led to his eating disorder and it led to chasing a cure for Lola. And this is something he literally explained to Callum back in August, as well as just before he left for America. I can buy that when he couldn’t use his own money in the US he impulsively turned to using someone else’s card that would work because he was at his most desperate – and if I can buy it, so can Callum. If Callum’s anger had been more about the fact that Ben never told him about the credit card theft, that probably would have made more sense. But instead we get all this stuff about Ben’s need to be the centre of attention when in actual fact it’s the opposite; Ben tries to do things alone because he doesn’t want to be a burden and then it explodes in his face; that’s the recurring problem. And aside from everything else, he was getting help! Callum going on like this after knowing Ben took accountability and sought help for how he deals with things also makes no sense. It feels an attempt to regress Ben but instead they’ve regressed Callum.
To prove that point, Callum goes on to tell Ben that all of this is fair, actually. I think I made the exact same noise as Ben at that, because how exactly is this fair? Ben behind bars nearly a year on from his lowest point, after having done so well to get better, about to be sent thousands of miles away to serve time for credit card fraud. It wasn’t even someone’s money he stole, it was whatever bank the card was with – and the cost would have been recouped months ago.
Callum, again uncharacteristically, absolves himself of blame by reminding Ben that he begged him not to go, to stay for them because he needed him. But that’s actually not true at all. I’m honestly not sure at this point if EastEnders actually think we all just forget what’s happened before and that we’ll just believe what the characters are telling us now, but if you watch that last scene before Ben left for America, it’s Ben doing the begging; for Callum to understand why he needs to go and that he needs Callum’s support. And Callum’s reason for trying to stop him wasn’t for himself, or because he needed him, but because he was worried about Ben’s state of mind. That was the Callum we know and love. I’m not sure who this character is that’s talking about it having to be ‘The Ben Show’ every time, but it’s not Callum. Ben’s state of mind isn’t even mentioned this entire episode, and it’s one of the many infuriating things about it because it’s crucial.
And lest we forget that this is all about something Ben did nearly a year ago, and had already been punished for. He missed Lola’s death, Lexi and Jay were angry at him. All of this now just feels so unnecessary; and so much time is spent on Callum saying horrible things to Ben when more time could have been spent on talking about why this is unfair, unpacking Ben’s motivations, highlighting the journey he’s gone on since last May. It wouldn’t have made the exit better because let’s be honest, it shouldn’t be happening; but it sure would have been less painful.
Instead we have to have Callum appearing as a real life version of Ben’s darkest thoughts and even telling him that although he loves him more than anything, sometimes he hates him too. And why anyone would think this was something Ben needed to hear whilst literally in a cell knowing this was the last time he was going to see anyone he loves let alone his husband… I don’t have the words.

But wait, you guys, there’s more! We aren’t just treated to an angry outburst from Callum, we get a resigned version of him too, which is somehow even worse. He stands on the outside of the cell with a golden light on him while Ben stands in the dark and he contemplates the fact that he goes back to Ben every time, forgives him every time even though he drives Callum madder than even Stuart. Which isn’t hard when he’s not even living with Stuart anymore, but anyway.
I don’t know what Callum expects from all this, because when Ben agrees with him, all he gets is another comment thrown at him about making a pity fest. But what other outcome can there be after everything Callum’s said to him? Ben comes to the conclusion that all he does is mess things up, all good things – including Callum, the best thing that ever happened. I have to be honest though, Callum’s putting that in jeopardy right now. The Good Callum Bad Ben dynamic is such a lazy thing to fall back on when there’s more interesting, fresher things now at play that they can use. You can see what they’re going for with these scenes, which is a fake out; but that just ends up treating the viewers like idiots. Ben hasn’t done anything recently to be talked to the way Callum’s talking to him. It’s a re-writing of how Callum felt about Ben going to America, a re-writing of Callum’s understanding and a re-writing of their improved dynamic and relationship. Especially as the last time things went wrong for them was the rape, where Callum didn’t even have the truth so retrospectively Ben didn’t break things. And yet he’s talking like Ben constantly tears them apart when that’s just not the truth. Twisting the wedding vows was another low point.
Then Callum goes on to say that he knows that Ben, Ritchie and Phil want to fight the charge but if he really loves Callum and Lexi then he’ll plead guilty. He reckons it’ll give Ben a shorter sentence and he’ll be home and free sooner. I guess the logic must be that if he doesn’t plead guilty he stays for a trial, and Callum’s thinking it’ll be better to just do the sentence quicker. But honestly, it’s a wild thing to say after everything he’s already said. And going against the actual solicitor advice too. He assures Ben that he and Jay will look after Lexi but asks him for once to do the right thing. Ugh. For once?! The lack of acknowledgement of Ben’s progress continues to cause me pain. Ben has never not tried to do the right thing. Ben’s scream of frustration… literally same.
The only acknowledgement we get of how prison will affect Ben is when he admits how scared he is. And not one person has tried to alleviate that fear. All Callum offers is the assurance that he’s got this, he just needs to keep his head down – which leads to a sarcastic comment from Ben about how he’s really good at that.
Callum promises to come and see him as often as he can, and then Ben agrees to do what Callum says and plead guilty. Nothing like a little emotional blackmail, eh?
Callum goes on to say that he’ll write to him every day, all joined up writing, and they’ll all be there waiting for when he comes home. He might have already forgotten what he’s said to Ben, but Ben hasn’t. He shakes his head and tells Callum he doesn’t want him to do that; wait for him. He repeats back to Callum what Callum had just said to him, about hurting him; and while Callum tries to backpedal, saying he didn’t mean he said about pulling him apart – it’s not enough to undo what he said. And he said a lot. And what did he expect other than for Ben to take that onboard and try to set him free? This is a direct result of what Callum threw at him in the previous scene.
And now here Ben is, showing once again that he isn’t what everyone says about him. If you believed Callum you’d think Ben didn’t care about anyone but himself, selfishly clinging to everyone and causing hurt just to be the centre of attention. But he tries to do what he thinks is the right thing here and tells Callum to go out and live his life instead of waiting for him, as there’s loads of guys in London to choose from. I mean, of course he’s told Callum that, because he’s just been made to feel like he’s holding Callum back and Callum can do so much better than him.
There is at least a reference to his 2019 growth, about finding love after Paul and how much seeing Callum accepting himself for who he is affected him. It’s not explicitly said (and it should have been considering all the stuff that was said out loud) but that right there is why Callum comes back, why he fell so hard for Ben and loves him so much. Because Ben helped him find himself in a completely unselfish way, and as he tells Callum now, it was the most beautiful thing to him. I am glad for that part, the mention of how good he was and still is. He’s trying to ‘set Callum free’ now though specifically because he’s been made to feel like a burden. He refers to Lola, about how she taught them that life’s too short; implying that Callum would be wasting it on Ben if he waited for him. Callum tries to get a word in, pleading with him and pointing out that Lola was dying and they’re not, but that’s what Ben’s saying; Callum needs to live.
Callum asks what happens if he doesn’t want to; but Ben just smiles and thanks him for everything, but it’s over now. He blows a quick kiss and then puts distance between them, going back to the bench and shutting down so that Callum can’t reach him. Callum’s at a loss and eventually, looking distraught, he leaves. And we’re all meant to think that’s it; that’s how this ends.

However, we get one more scene of Callum rushing back to speak to Ben, not content with how it ended. I just wish we’d gotten an acknowledgement from Callum that he drove Ben to try and cut him free with the things he said. But instead the blame is put on Ben once more. We get Callum firstly joking that Ben just wants a free pass to get it on with some American inmate but that’s not happening because he’s Callum’s husband, and then a Halfway moment with him talking about the ring on Ben’s finger that isn’t actually there anymore and how it still means something to him, implying it doesn’t to Ben. There’s another callback to ‘I see you’, a line that’s defined Ballum’s relationship – or most of it anyway, because while Callum says that he sees Ben in this moment, I’m not convinced anymore that he does. Because he says that Ben is doing what he always does and pushes away good things to see if they come back – but Callum did the pushing first this time. This turnaround just doesn’t have the intended effect for me because Callum caused that reaction in Ben – he showed regression and so Ben reacted accordingly. It feels like an attempt to make that previous dynamic happen again without the nuance – the ‘Ben pushes Callum away but Callum refuses to let him’. It’s never been as simple as that, and while I can maybe see the desire to recreate that dynamic for their last scene, it wasn’t worth it. Making Ben push Callum away because Callum made him feel so bad in the first place was not worth it for me.
Basically, Ben’s cursed to feel guilty no matter what. But I guess it’s a small mercy that things don’t end on a sour note and Ben does get at least a small moment of love and gentleness before he goes. I wish he got more though, because he deserves more. There should have been more of Ben being told why he’s loved and how much progress he’s made since he did this crime, and Callum admitting what he said was wrong – just something to show that he does get Ben like he always did. But those words aren’t erased.
Callum reminds Ben of his wedding vow to always be ‘Us’ so the other blokes in London can go sing. He will be there when Ben comes home, waiting. I can only hope that comforts Ben because if he believed the stuff Callum said before then he’d reckon that was a curse.
Callum then signs ‘I love you’, and I’m overlooking the inaccuracy of the BSL because I’m choosing to think he adapted it to be at Ben’s eye level, above the window so he could see it fully. And I don’t want to be angry at all of it. Ben reciprocates the ILY, but not before calling Callum a Highway-Mitchell. I see that fan service for what it is. It’s bittersweet, not least because it feels like approving Callum as a Mitchell just as Ben is leaving us. And if they wanted to give us this sweet last scene… what on earth were those other scenes?! It feels like trying to do everything, be everything, but it ends up not working for anyone. For those who don’t like Ben, all the scenes of his family speaking to him and about him with such derison probably felt good, but then it’s ruined by the last scene. Then you have those of us who love Ben having to endure those previous scenes before getting the sweetness of this scene, which feels tainted by what came before. I don’t understand, I truly don’t.
The ILY is their last exchange, and Callum says goodbye with a kiss to his fingertips and then touching them to Ben’s lips, ending with a gentle stroke of his jaw. It’s like that scene in Dumbo with his mum in the cage (which just so happens to make me cry like a baby every time.) Like I said, Ben deserved much more than this, but at least he gets this tenderness at the end. Callum then leaves after they nod to each other in understanding, and our last shot is of Ben turned away from the door, still no doubt terrified about what’s to come but knowing he’s got Callum waiting for him.

The thing about it is, the story didn’t have to change for them to have given Ben more respect as a character in this last week. Is it still ridiculous that he’s being extradited for spending a few grand on a credit card? Of course. Is it still a poor decision for Ben to leave in the first place? Also yes. But the exit really did not have to be as mean spirited as it was. It served no one – and ironically, in going on about how awful Ben was, they forgot to actually reflect that in Ben. It just made his family look heartless. And ignoring his poor mental health at the time of the crime felt deliberate too. Not a single mention of it, or his progress since then, or how hard he’s worked to fight against his upbringing and his trauma. Spoiler alert, but as well as ignoring it for the purposes of everyone being as mean to him as possible, it’s as though they were also ignoring it for the purposes of having Ben feel the full force of the law and getting the maximum 6 year sentence, when they could have used it as a commentary on how the justice system treats mental health, because why wouldn’t anyone mention it as a extenuating factor? Like most things with the show right now though, I guess that was too interesting and too much effort. I just think we all deserved better.

I also had a worry that they’d have all this and then this week Callum would find out about the plan to go on the run and we’d get yet another Ben bashing scene before he cut him off. That didn’t happen, but we did have a rather strange moment where Callum seemed shocked that Ben had done what he asked and pleaded guilty, meaning he’d be extradited the next day. You did tell him to do it Callum!

This will be my last recap blog post, but I also don’t want to leave it on a bad note so another post may come about Ballum’s high moments, because there were lots of them. When there was a team behind them that cared, we got some amazing moments, and I do want to celebrate that. I know it’s still painful for a lot of us but I really hope that we can look back on Ballum’s best moments and enjoy them, because those five years gave us such a special relationship and some amazing character work. I’m sending my love to you all as always.