Well, here is is, beginning of the end. As suspected, we got short scenes squeezed into a script that was just enough to cover this exit story they want to tell.
Outside the flat, Callum’s raving about the birthday card Lexi’s made him and showing it to Jay, when Ben joins them. Jay asks what they’re doing, referring to celebrating Callum’s birthday, and Ben just shrugs and says they haven’t really got any plans and notes that Callum didn’t want a fuss. Whether Callum actually said that or Ben just assumed is unclear. Callum doesn’t really know what to say to that; I guess he actually did want the fuss but doesn’t exactly want to admit to that, so instead plays it off and reasons it’s just a birthday, as Lexi looks at him knowingly.
He rushes off after that as he’s got criminals to catch, gives Ben a kiss goodbye and gives Lexi what’s now the signature pat on the head as he leaves.
As soon as he’s gone Jay questions the validity of Callum not wanting a fuss, and Ben doesn’t get the hint, pointing out it’s only a birthday. But Jay points out that he’s ‘been there’ after the year he and Ben have had, like he’s some supportive mate rather than Ben’s actual husband, but whatever. Lexi also comments that Ben doesn’t know what he’s got half the time. I know that’s just for foreshadowing purposes but Ben actually does know what he’s got, and we’ve seen that. He just genuinely didn’t think Callum needed a celebration. He knows Callum doesn’t like being the centre of attention and probably based it off that. And anyway, I’ve yet to hear what any of them did for Ben’s birthday.
Jay leads Lexi off to school while Ben mulls over what to do.
I take back what I said about Phil, because it turns out he gives the opposite of romantic advice and that’s what spurs Ben into action. I love how Phil is just sitting in the Arches while Ben works, inexplicably, while Ben talks about how he and Callum have never really done anything special for a birthday. Phil suggests taking him for a pint because he’s a bloke. It’s not a terrible suggestion because I do think Callum would be onboard with that, but it prompts Ben to dismiss that as Mitchell romance and therefore not good enough. Phil’s next idea is to get him some flowers if he’s ‘being the boy’. A very classic Phil line of thinking there. When Ben starts pointing out the number of marriages Phil’s had, Phil reminds him that he’s the one who asked for advice. Ben got nothing good, but the conversation is enough to kickstart an idea of his own and he asks Phil to finish the motor he’s working on while he goes and does the opposite of what Phil’s suggested. Seeing Ben in the overalls is a nice visual reminder of Ballum’s wedding; now that was a top tier episode.
A little later we see Ben hastily moving through the busy market armed with gift bags. He makes a beeline for Kathy and Honey, letting them know of the plan to throw Callum a party at the Vic and asks them to let Billy know as well because he wants everyone there.
It’s meant to be a surprise, but unfortunately Callum happens to leave the Minute Mart at that moment and overhears mention of a party. Ben freezes in shock that he’s there and questions why he’s not catching criminals like he said he would be. Honey picks up on the reaction and asks if the party was supposed to be a surprise, while Kathy points out it is for some of them. Ben drily jokes that they don’t have to pretend anymore because Callum knows about the surprise now. Callum just looks pleased with himself that he’s discovered the truth, not least because he is having a party after all, after Ben made out that he didn’t have anything planned. Ben passes it off like this was always the plan because what sort of husband would he be if he didn’t spoil his other half? He tells Callum that he and Jay have been planning it for ages; which Kathy immediately senses is nonsense while Honey laments that Billy isn’t more like Ben, before taking it back because then Billy would be gay. That gets a Look from both of Ballum while she flounders tying to clarify that it would be obviously fine if he was. Got to have at least one more gay reference in there before he goes, right?
Ben suggests to Callum that he go home and get showered before he sees him in the Vic later. And after spending the entire scene glued to his side, Callum agrees to do what he’s told, leaning in for a kiss before he heads back. The little ‘I love you/stop it’ exchange was so cute. It hurts knowing we’re near the end of this, that we’ll not see that easy chemistry again. Especially as they’re so good at it.
Ben watches Callum go, pleased with himself as Kathy asks him how he gets away with it every single time, full of amusement. Ben just shrugs and trundles off with his bags of goodies. Got to love that real subtle foreshadowing popping up again.
When Honey and Jay walk into the Vic later, they see Ben putting up a flimsy banner and ask if that’s it; party hats and a limp banner. Ben tells them it looks good; he has to believe it looks good because it’s all he’s got. Personally, I think they should leave him alone because he’s done his best with the last minute arrangement! And indeed, when Callum comes through with Lexi in tow, he sees the Mitchells all sitting there with the balloons shouting surprise (sort of) and he looks so happy. Lexi is quick to clarify that Ben did the decorations, not her – obviously to explain the lack of taste. Ben jokingly tells her off as he goes in to give Callum a hug and kiss, and Callum gratefully receives it. Regardless of anyone else’s opinion, Callum loves it. His little face! Ben drags him over and explains it’s not a lot but he gave it a go, and that’s the important thing.
At the bar, we see a little exchange between Callum and Honey about Will and vaping, with Honey pointing out that Will is breaking the law and Callum simply shrugging and telling her that they don’t really arrest kids for it though. He wanders back to the corner while Billy tells Honey that they should count themselves lucky that Will vaping is the worst of their problems, as when Ben was his age he was doing a stretch inside. Thanks for that, Billy.
When we return to the corner, Callum is declaring that his little party and what Ben’s put on for him is brilliant, and Ben plays it down with mock surprise that Dad 2 has just called him brilliant. A return to form for Dad 2? Well, until Jay pipes up that he’s meant to be Dad 2 this week. Sigh, got to love that reminder of unearned parentage.
Lexi then drops Ben in it by mentioning that he did this last minute rather than having actually planned it, but Callum takes it well, pointing at Ben and telling him he’s been busted. Ben jokes to Phil that this is why you shouldn’t marry a detective as you can’t hide anything from them. Then he gets up and asks for a cuddle from Callum and Lexi, his favourite people. And isn’t that just the ultimate sign that things are about to go badly wrong. He pulls Jay in too (I’m ignoring the dad number 3 comment) and there’s laughter and glee until Phil spots the police coming in and calls Ben to get his attention.
Ben turns to look at them and doesn’t seem to have much of a reaction, a joke thrown to Callum about bringing work home with him. But then the cop says Ben’s name and then it’s serious. He mentions an international warrant and that knocks Callum for six. Everyone’s frozen in shock actually. Ben starts pleading with them because it’s his husband’s birthday, but they cut across him to announce they’re arresting him for fraud. So there it is. I’m glad it’s not murder or assault – fraud is exactly the kind of thing he’d do while frantic in America trying to get treatment for Lola. Callum and Lexi question him, confused and scared as Ben asks the cops if this is some sick joke. It does sound like he’s confused too, but he asks that if they have to do this, can they do it outside rather than in the Vic in front of everyone. That sounds like resignation.
Outside, Kathy spots the police car and Ben being escorted out and rushes across to see what’s going on. Lexi, who’s come outside, tells Kathy that they’re saying Ben’s done a crime in America. Kathy asks Ben what he’s done, and with the family all looking on with mixed reactions – sadness, confusion, fear – Ben looks at her frantically and that’s the duff duff.
Bleugh. The beginning of the end. I feel like Ben’s confusion is real but is it because he believes he’s done nothing wrong or believes there’s no way they can possibly know he’s done whatever it is he’s done?
I think if we can get through the week without any character assassinations, I’ll be fine with it. Fingers crossed.
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