Quite a bit of Ben in last night’s episode, finding out his idea to save Lola was fruitless and trying to cope with that.
We first see Ben in the market, catching up to Jay, Lola and Lexi at Billy’s stall just as Lexi is adding some ‘additions’ to her Santa list now that she’s a star of the stage. She’s got big ambitions to be centre stage of next year’s panto. Jay tells her to go and post the list, and Ben takes the opportunity to thank Billy for looking after Lexi today since the rest of them are heading to the specialist appointment. Billy seems optimistic about Lola being put on a new trial, while Jay is cautious about counting their chickens before they hatch.
Lola thanks Ben again, and he gives her a little hug, telling her she’s worth it – and so is Lexi. He then ushers them on, eager to get to the doctor’s office.
At the doctor’s waiting room, with Lola asleep in between them, Ben tries to make conversation with Jay by pointing out the magazine he’s reading and asking him if he thinks anyone buys anything from the adverts inside – and he’s not talking about the commemorative coins, but the rather expensive trips to Lapland. Jay isn’t really engaged, thoughts elsewhere; but Ben continues, talking about how Lexi would love something like that, where she gets to meet Santa and Rudolph. It then turns into a decision to start saving for it, “us three dashing through the snow next year.” Which three he’s referring to is unclear, but maybe that’s deliberate. He might have meant the three of them on that sofa as they’re in the scene, which seems most plausible – but maybe it’s actually an unwitting freudian slip and next year the three will be him, Callum and Jay dashing through the snow. Regardless of what he meant, Jay doesn’t want to think too far ahead, suggesting they take one Christmas at a time. Ben picks up on the perceived pessimism and encourages a glass half empty approach – except, that’s not what he meant to say I assume, since the optimistic version of the phrase is ‘glass half full’. Maybe that one is a freudian slip. It’s definitely optimism Ben is trying for as he tells Jay that this doctor is the business. When Jay replies that the guy isn’t a miracle worker, Ben points out Lola’s chances for a trial, being young and fit – but her body’s already gone through a lot, as Jay points out in response. Their exchange wakes Lola up, and she assures Jay she’s ready for any trial they have for her. She also mentions going out to get a miracle instead of waiting around for one – meaning she is thinking of this trial as a potential miracle. And she demonstrates how optimistic she is by telling Ben to book that Lapland holiday – even though she’s not mucking around with any reindeers. Ben smiles but it’s more of a sad smile now. Still, when Lola’s name is called, they all look at each other with hope, and Ben waits in the lobby anxiously while Jay and Lola go inside.
After Jay and Lola get the devastating news that the doctor thinks it’s too early to start a trial and even with one, miracle cures are rare and the best they can do is look at life prolonging options. Poor Lola looks just gutted at her hopes being dashed.
Ben’s still out in the waiting room, hunched over now as he waits for the outcome. Jay emerges from the office without Lola and breaks the news to Ben that it was a waste of time, the doctor’s told them there are no miracle cures. Ben doesn’t know what to do, his hopes having been pinned on this. He’s practical at first, checking that Jay showed him the scans and asked all the questions, and then he’s out of his seat, intending to be practical in a different way as he insists that they’ve been fobbed off, and this isn’t right. He’s halfway to the office when Jay shouts after him to stop him – he tells him to leave it, and makes it clear that he means it. Ben can tell by the tone of his voice that it’s best to listen to him, and best for Lola not to kick off and make things worse; but he’s gutted, that much is clear.
And where does Ben go when he’s down? To the pub. He orders a beer from Janine, and is spotted by recently returned Ricky who’s sitting down with Sam. Ricky makes a joke about another Mitchell propping up the bar before 4pm, and Ben remarks that it’s the only way to deal with being part of this gene pool. I wonder if that’s him chastising himself for being impulsive and jumping the gun, a very Mitchell trait – or if it was just an easy opportunity to get a friendly dig in at Sam, who’s within earshot. Maybe both.
He’s still there, coat now removed, when Keanu approaches the bar. Not again! Ben’s obviously in a worse mood than he was yesterday, and he loudly comments on the nerve of Keanu to be hanging around, visiting the pub as if he’s still welcome there. Janine doesn’t want any trouble (which is unlike her) and reminds Ben it’s a family pub – which Ben latches onto as a reason for Keanu to jog on. Keanu, in that infuriating drawl, responds to point out that his family live here too – before noting that Ben doesn’t have back up (i.e someone to stop him like Callum) today and wonders where his family are. Ben sticks to his resolve not to waste his energy on Keanu, but reminds him again that if Phil sees him back on the Square, he’s a dead man. Keanu doesn’t seem that scared though, observing that Phil’s not here, and Ben’s on his own. Except he’s not, because Jay walks in at that moment and backs Ben up, while Sam stands from her seat too and reminds Ben that Keanu isn’t worth it. Ben can sense that Keanu’s up to something, and lets him know that whatever game he’s playing is risky. He leaves then, ushering Jay to the corner of the bar away from Keanu.
It didn’t really add much to the last run in with Keanu, but seems like it was intended to be a reminder of the audience’s expectations; that Phil will be killing Keanu as soon as he sees him. Meaning there’s probably going to be a twist and that won’t happen. What if his source on all things Phil isn’t Sam after all, but the man himself? Hm. The sudden swerve towards wanting Phil sent down seems off if there wasn’t something going on, but guess we’ll find out soon enough as Phil’s return is this episode’s duff duff.
We return to Ben and Jay at the bar, processing the setback together – although Jay never had his hopes up, it’s still another avenue closed. Ben asks how Lola is back at home, and Jay’s honest – she’s tired and she’s sick. Ben asks how she’s feeling mentally, obviously trying to gauge how the disappointing meeting with the specialist has had an effect on her – and Jay confirms that she’s not feeling great (which we saw earlier on in how she acted with Lexi.)
Ben feels awful for getting her hopes up, but Jay’s been there too and he understands. It’s natural to cling to hope – something the specialist was right about. Jay realises that the little flashes of hope are all you really have in these circumstances. He speaks about earlier that morning in the market and the good mood Lexi, Lola and even Billy were in, and how that’s down to hope too. It seems like Jay’s saying that if the moments of hope bring that happiness, even briefly, then it’s worth it even if they’re eventually dashed. I don’t know how much I agree with that, but it is a really difficult situation that no one can prepare for – so that is one side of things, the hope that can happen even for something like an incurable brain tumour.
Ben’s finding it hard to believe that they could possibly grab any happiness in the current situation, convinced it’s not likely they’ll be having a happy Christmas this year – but Jay’s of the opinion that they have to make it one, for Lola and for Lexi, for themselves. They all deserve a happy Christmas. Jay throws in a casual ‘I love you’ as he returns to his beer – so casual that it looks like Ben nearly misses it. But he doesn’t – and returns it. A very cute Ben and Jay moment, that.
So neither of them were willing to voice the idea that it could be Lola’s last Christmas, but the resolve is still there to make it a happy one. I hope they manage it too.
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