9th August, she?

Just a little bit of Ben in the first episode of the week, still in hospital as he finds out that Suki isn’t the one who saved him.

Before we get to that, we have Sam seeking out Zack in the cafe to check whether he’s doing what she asked, finding Lewis. Zack resists the blackmail attempts, pointing out that he’s Sharon’s brother so Phil’s not going to touch him – plus he probably knows that Phil wouldn’t be that bothered by his involvement anyway, as it was Sam who orchestrated it and the betrayal comes from her. He does admit that he owes Sam for landing her in it, and that’s what Sam ends up banking on, pleading with Zack to help her get back in Phil’s good books again as finding Lewis is the only way. You see once again how similar she is to Ben in terms of feeling like an outsider in the family and wanting to earn Phil’s approval, even if it’s through doing things she wouldn’t do off her own bat normally, like kidnap.
She successfully butters Zack up and the plan is back on, and later in the episode we see him on the phone saying Lewis’ name. Maybe he’s done a Facebook search and is calling places local to Lewis to see if he’s working at any of them. Not sure how else one goes about getting an address for someone using their name only but who knows, maybe we’ll find out next week.

Phil’s gone to see Ben at the hospital, with Sam’s olive branch of hospital essentials (an attempt at buttering Phil up like Zack suggested earlier) sitting on the bed. It’s all a little awkward because Phil doesn’t know what to say and neither does Ben. Phil might have shone last week when it mattered, but he’s still Phil and he’s still awkward and uncomfortable with feelings, and also struggles to relate to his son.
Ben eventually decides to lighten the mood by joking that he thought Phil was there to entertain him, with a teasing reference to Phil’s struggle by saying he’s not expecting a showtune – but something they do have in common is cars, and I wonder whether that comment is only half-joking. As much as Ben is desperate to talk about his feelings, it’s still incredibly scary; and that’s been the dichotomy for him throughout this story, the battle between needing that release and it being so frightening he’s had to go to extreme lengths to try and block it out.
Phil acknowledges that he’s not good at this but he does want to talk. And not about the safe topics, he wants to ask Ben about the drugs. Ben resists at first with a remark about sitting in a circle with incense and chanting, poking fun because he’s scared of talking about it. But Phil doesn’t let him dismiss it this time, and insists that he’s serious. Ben acquiesces, and so Phil asks whether he overdosed on purpose. It’s a reasonable assumption to make. In fact Callum’s probably the only one at the hospital who didn’t think that since the rest of them know what Ben’s gone through.
Ben regards him for a moment, as if he’s thinking about making another wisecrack, but instead he relents and tells him no, it wasn’t on purpose. He explains that he just wanted to forget about what Lewis had done to him, and confirms what we already knew anyway – that it goes around his head every second of the day and he just wanted it to stop. His current ambivalence towards dying makes itself known again as he muses over the idea that he could have stopped all the thoughts permanently if she – Suki – hadn’t found him.
Phil is very confused at the news that Suki was the last person Ben saw before he blacked out, and at Ben’s assumption that she saved his life. I guess no one thought to tell Ben before that he was found by Callum (and Jay), but Phil’s telling him now. Ben’s reaction features a whole spectrum of emotions on his face – I can see disbelief, confusion, hope (the ghost of a smile is there and I’d say we can guess what caused that to appear) and then finally understanding, as he concludes that Suki must have left him there to die then. He’s not angry about it, just matter-of-factly explains to Phil that Suki blames him for Jags. He carries a lot of guilt for that still, and is probably thinking that he deserved it.
Not Phil though, and as soon as he abruptly gets to his feet, Ben can tell what he’s going to do and tries in vain to call him back. He doesn’t want him storming after Suki, but that’s exactly what Phil does.

He finds Suki having a drink with Sharon in the pub (Sharon having just agreed to help Suki out financially with the shop) and makes sure everyone there knows what she did. He tells Frankie, who comes out from behind the bar to intervene, and I actually find that quite cute that Phil seems to know how Frankie would react to the news that Suki left Ben to die. And sure enough, when Suki demands Frankie do something about Phil shouting his mouth off, Frankie turns to her instead and tells her she’s got some explaining to do. And they’re all waiting for it, even Kheerat who arrived just before it all kicked off.
Suki’s ‘it was dark!’ (it was not, in fact, dark) is basically confirmation that Phil’s telling the truth, and when Sharon expresses her disgust, Suki proposes the idea that Sharon wouldn’t care if Ben died, not after how he speaks to her. Only Sharon confirms what we know, which is that Ben’s snark and harsh words are water off a duck’s back to her, because she sees him as family still.
Suki argues that Ben killed her son by not protecting him, and Phil fires back that that’s not exactly the same as killing him. And he doesn’t accept Suki’s suggestion that she and Ben are even now, because they’re not to Phil. Kheerat ends up stepping in to stop things escalating, pointing out to Phil that Ben is still alive (only just though, jeez) but Jags is dead. But he also tells Suki to apologise to Phil, and when he successfully gets Phil to walk away, Kheerat rejects her invite to dinner and makes it clear how low he thinks Suki has sunk.

Not gonna lie, it’s heartwarming to see people like Sharon and Kheerat siding with Ben despite all the animosity between them – and these are people Ben thinks hate him. I feel like it points towards the support Ben will get when his rape becomes public knowledge (and it’s Walford, so it will).
I also think having Phil instinctively storming out of the hospital to confront Suki despite Ben’s protests highlights the fact that things can go either way with Phil – he listened to Kathy, but will he listen to Ben? We’ll talk about it more in the Week Ahead, so see you on Sunday!