I have a lot to talk about in regards to last night!! It was so much more than what I was expecting.
We opened the episode with a little scene at the start of Callum modelling a sample shirt for Pride that Whitney’s making (those tassles were awful, sorry Whit!). When Stuart turns up, Callum scrambles to cover the ‘Gay As’ front with a cushion. A little thing but it broke my heart a little, how uncomfortable he was. And it felt symbolic as well, hiding who he is.
Jonno turns up and says some letchy things, and already starts in on the beer.
Later, Ben walks into the pub with Lola while Jonno and Callum are sitting in a separate booth, Jonno mocking Callum for not finishing his pint, making more gross comments about Whitney, and musing that Ben fancies him (he ain’t looking at you, son.) Speaking of looks….yeah.
Jonno follows Ben into the loos, apparently to demand an apology, and Ben winds him up, refusing to be intimidated. I was shocked when Jonno reached for the bottle and smashed it. I didn’t think it was going to be that violent. Thank god Ben grabbed him in time and got a few good punches in! Jonno deserved what he got – I have no time for homophobes who intend to commit hate crime, even fictional ones.
Callum follows Jonno out of the pub and a very interesting conversation takes place between them. First, Jonno refers to Ben as ‘sick, perverted scum’, and, even though he could very easily have not said a word, Callum replies with ‘he ain’t scum.’ The quiet way he says it, like he couldn’t help it, is so sweet. Then Jonno pins him to the wall and makes a reference to Callum having ‘sick little mates’ even when he was a kid – another story there that we don’t know about? Callum looks terrified, but Stuart comes to the rescue, like he did when they were kids, and tells Jonno where to go.
Stuart and Callum have a beautiful conversation in the cafe, where Stuart tells Callum that he always sees the best in people, and in turn Callum tells Stuart the bad bits of him that want to hurt people are Jonno, and he doesn’t have to be like him.
Stuart: I just want my brother back.
Callum: You’ve got me. I’m here.
I never thought I’d be liking Stuart six months ago, but here we are. It’s partly Pete’s writing and partly Ricky Champ’s acting: both brilliant.
And now the scene everyone’s been waiting for for a month: Ben and Callum, behind the markets, talking about their dads. Ben admits he stopped beating the crap out of Jonno because he didn’t want him to take it out on Callum. Callum doesn’t say much (I still think he’s too scared to, in case he says something he shouldn’t), but Ben gives him some sound advice and it’s delivered beautifully by Max: Jonno ain’t Callum’s dad, he’s just the bloke that got his mum pregnant.
They’re standing a foot apart to begin with, but Ben leaps away from the wall to put a hand on Callum’s heart and tell him the things he thought about himself were worse than his dad’s criticisms. As Stuart watches from across the road, Ben whispers to Callum ‘you don’t have to do this.’ Does he mean the wedding? The denial? The excuses for Jonno? Then we get a gentle kiss on the cheek (from three different angles!) And my favourite part of the whole episode: the handhold. So much said in that one moment. Ben’s hand drifts down but it’s Callum that has his hand out, waiting, and then squeezing. And Ben pulling away but Callum trying to hold on. Just stunning, really.
I think witnessing Jonno with Callum, the attempted attack on him and how Callum still seemed to want his approval hit home to Ben how alike Callum is to him a few years ago. And as someone in the Ballum thread on Digital Spy said, Ben would have tried to help Callum regardless of existing feelings of attraction, because it’s a connection on a different level. Ben has realised there’s a deep rooted reason for Callum’s denial, and Callum has realised that Ben can be kind and understanding. And I think he realised once Ben pulled his hand away that he wanted it to stay. He wanted Ben to stay.
I’m super excited for the episode tonight. Max said he cried, Pete said he cried, a bunch of others said they’ve seen it and cried. It sounds like there’s a lot of focus on Bernie, but I get the feeling there’s some embargoed Ballum stuff for us. I’m still not over EastEnders showing an episode completely dedicated to Pride. It’s not a thing they’d have done ten years ago, and it’s just amazing to me. And with Pete writing it and with all these cast and crew members wanting to get it right and knowing how important it is, I think it will be amazing.
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